Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
