The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
