hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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