good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Boobs are out for the taking
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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