In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
