i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
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He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
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I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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