3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize