she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize