Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
