Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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