Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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