WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
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Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Shame - the story of my life.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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