Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
