the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
