fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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