Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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