she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize