Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
