can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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