After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
foreskin is a definite game changer
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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