My sheets look like a crime scene.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize