Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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