Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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