somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
