Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
