Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
