So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
