I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
