dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
