Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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