I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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