YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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