Tell her she can't have a vagina
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
