I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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