on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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