For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
