yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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