Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
3pm strippers are depressing
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize