He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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