You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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