Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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