I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
