if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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