i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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