I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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