dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
