I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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