I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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