On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
