YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
