Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
That's when you crack a 10am beer
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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