i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
