I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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