just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
