i just had sex bonerless
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
