I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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