Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
