You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
