That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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