My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
