i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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