But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
