She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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