I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
